Sunday, August 17, 2014

Learning to Fly

Oh Sambo! I have a confession to make. I've been asked countless times by friends - and even you - if I'm anxious about MIDDLE SCHOOL. I have confidently said no. But I lied. 

I awoke from a peaceful sleep wondering if I bought the right school supplies, backpack, back to school clothes, where to park the first day to watch you walk in, what to pack in your lunch, who you would walk in with, should we have gotten you a phone, and how I'd know if you were ok. Seven hours of middle school for an anxious mom is a lot longer than 7 hours of elementary school.

I have prayed for hours for your safety, happiness, and personal best. But I forgot to pray for my own peace!!! I can feel God working on my heart though, because every time we discuss the "big first day" you exude a very quiet confidence. You always say, "Mom! I'm looking forward to it. I'm gonna be ok." And I know that's Him calming my fears. He's telling me that you won't be gobbled up by the giant hairy monster they call middle school! He has planted you firmly.

You know it's a character flaw of mine, that I've never done well on first (or last) days. There have been tears, long walks, prayer, prayer, and more prayer, phone calls to and from Muzzy and sweet friends. There was even the rocking chair incident the night before you started 5K - for which I profusely apologize as I woke you up to "rock you one more time". Can we just blame it on the pregnancy hormones? Sorry. All my emotional mayhem and craziness...Well, it's just my way of saying I'm proud of who you're becoming and thanking The Lord for the time I've gotten to spend with you. 

I blogged at some point about how we are "growing up" together. All your firsts are my firsts too. Sorry if I've made you the guinea pig of my parenting. I'm learning as I go. Even with all my epic parenting failures, you have made us proud and paved a great way for your brothers. They have an excellent role model in you. 

We can't wait to see how you grow and shine over the next few years. Remember! Just as I watched you navigate your first steps around our house, negotiating each corner and threshold, I will stand by, watching as you cruise through middle school and be here to help you if you become unsteady. And I can always rock you, if need be too! Just kidding. Ok not just kidding.

All the supplies, clothes, parking, etc. are not really the anxiety. It's that I'm sending you off somewhere bigger and more out of my reach. I'm really beginning to understand how momma birds feel now. But Sam, I'm going to have faith in your faith... It's going to be grand! And just so you know, so I can stay in the loop, I still may or may not sub in your theater class and make y'all act out scenes and songs from The Little favorite Disney Cartoonsical!

I love you sweet Baby Bitzy!!! Now spread your wings and fly. 


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