Thursday, February 27, 2014

A Year of Firsts

It's been an entire year now.

I can still hear my mom as if I was still in that very moment. "Honey, it's going to be a sad day." Her voice was so incredibly strong while delivering such grim news. The only sense I can make of the strength in mom's voice is that she knew, without out a doubt, the soul of her sister was now in the hands of God.

It was inevitable. Her suffering had gone on for too long.

But still. Not even a handwritten notice from God could have prepared us for the moment she left our world.

She is missed far more than she would want to be. She didn't like for people to make a fuss over her.

Mom and I frequently say, "Oh my word, I wish we could call her because she would love this story!" And sometimes I think I hear her laughing at us. 

We have made it through a year of "firsts" without her. Some harder than others. But the memories of our time together help soothe us.

A few of the many little reminders throughout this past year come to mind...

Easter hand towels
Banana pudding
Well-used cookie sheets
Holiday-themed t-shirts
Crocheted sun hats
The saved last birthday cards
Novelty socks for the boys
Taco Soup
Cooking shows
A REALLY good glass of wine
Keepsake Christmas ornaments
and sometimes it's just a smell or the way the air feels

Divinely, her life verse has continued to pop up throughout the last year in all sorts of circumstances, and I know it is His way of letting her speak to me.
May these words of my mouth and this meditation of my heart be pleasing in your sight, LORD, my Rock and my Redeemer. -Psalm 19:14
We cling to the promise of seeing her again. And know that it will be even sweeter than the sweetest memories. 

Still loving and missing "My Laynie".


No comments :