However, at the very top of the closet are the boxes of my former life. No, not some crazy dark secret sordid stripper-girl past. It's the stash of boxes that hold all my old therapy manuals, activities, due process forms, thematic units, and supplies. It unearthed a whole host of emotions for me.
Happiness. Regret. Sadness. Thankfulness. Pride. Etc.
Thankful, Prideful, and Happy that I had the opportunity to serve these students and make a positive difference in their lives and that I was privileged enough to have been educated and hold a rewarding career. Regretful and Sad because I wish I had gone on an gotten my master's degree before I had children, because I have no control over the laws being changed to prevent therapists holding a BA from practicing, and because I wonder where some of my most severe and less fortunate students have ended up. I was a therapist for middle and high school students. Most of them have graduated and moved on. Some of them, I wish I could have followed forever. I wish I could be there for them everyday like I was when they were in school, the constant in their lives.
I had true flashbacks with each activity and therapy treatment plan I rediscovered. I could hear the laughter, re-sense their frustrations, and I relived their excitement upon success. I remembered the prompts I'd give them and their answers, sometimes off the wall. Administering therapy was MY therapy as well. It made me proud to see a student reach or exceed his/her goals. It made me happy to know that out of all the adults in their lives, I was the one they looked forward to seeing the most. I had fun. They made my day and I made theirs.
I am truly thankful for that God moment. It is amazing how He speaks to us through the junk in our closets and memories sometimes. I have been struggling with whether or not to go back to school to pursue my masters degree in Speech-Language Pathology. I worry about the time commitment away from my family. I worry about the stress of it all and mostly I worry about the money. I wish I had a fairy Godmother to wave her wand and make a check appear. I wish I had an abundance of support to help me take care of my little peeps while I take on this load. I could sit here all day and list all the circumstances that "I wish" were different, but it's not going to get me any closer to my goal...going back to get my masters and getting back into the classroom. If I wait for the right circumstances it'll never happen!
So tonight, I sat down at the computer and researched my options; MCD distance ed 3 yr program at USC, MSP full-time 2 yr program at USC, and the program at SCSU which I ruled out b/c of the 1 hr drive to class at night (no, thanks). I am now seriously investigating the MCD program at USC.
I'll have to take the GRE...UUUUUUUHHHHHHHGGGGGG!!!! I detest TESTS! But I can do it!
Any who...I need some prayers and encouragement, folks, as I make this decision on whether or not to go for it.
Well, I didn't expect it, but my thoughts got cleaned out and so did the closet!
Practical Tip- Think about a time when you were most fulfilled. Are you there now? If not, give it to God! He'll help you figure out how to get back there. It may not seen to be the "right time", but what IS the "right time". We're on His time any way. So does our time really matter? Huh-uh!
Practically Put- If you wait for perfect conditions, you will never get anything done!